When your love story has too many goodbyes

“We met, we fell for each other and then we separated.”

Confused? Let me start from the beginning. I met the love of my life during my internship in Bangalore. He was my mentor and as typical a mentor you can imagine who seriously wanted his interns to work! How we sealed our feelings will certainly require another blog post.

But after 2 weeks of “saying yes” we said our first goodbyes.
I headed to my college in Guwahati while he continued to live his corporate dream (sort of). The following year would be the litmus test for us. Because you know they all say “this won’t last for more than a year.” Indeed, that was the only judgement people made about us, except for a few who were absolutely positive.

The pains of living apart were evident and often dominating my other thoughts. I would feel guilty when hanging out with other people and feel jealous and sad if he was enjoying a couple of drinks without me. Nevertheless, we made our little arrangements to meet throughout the year.
He managed to visit me in college while he was on a work trip and we managed to find our tiny windows for long walks holding hands, eating at typical college cafes. While I was living my present in the campus, he was recollecting his old memories (Yes, we graduated from the same place).

After 2 days, we said our goodbyes once again.
And then he visited me again and we planned a small trip. Just us, to an insanely beautiful place in that part of our country.
Just how sorry I am that I was a little sulky during that trip and missed out on absorbing the last second of his company. But we perhaps had the cutest trip together, strengthening my faith in this relationship.

And it was time to say goodbye once again.

When apart, we found our happiness in small things. The two-minute phone calls between my classes. The grainy photos to tell what’s happening around us. His after-office calls sometimes rife with funny stories of some of his colleagues or sometimes garnished with some workplace frustration. This also gave us time for ourselves which we would spend on focusing on our professional areas of interest. Mine being UX design and his being HCI Research. I channeled my energy on my placements while he began working towards his PhD dream. We were there with each other during the dark days. It was like we needed no one else.

During a college trip, I took an insanely long bus journey to meet him and we met again. It was a beautiful December and we made the most of it by doing things we love. We like to cook for each other, and those little experiences of cooking for and with each other made my December holidays.

That too passed. We said our goodbyes once again.

Months flew by and our professional future was ahead of us. Roles would change. He would become the student and I would be living my corporate dream. He had gotten a PhD admit at a prestigious college in Boston and I got a job that was clearly best that was offered at that time. As long as he was in India, we made more frequent attempts to meet. From helping me move in, to celebrating his birthday by feeding dogs at a shelter, we did everything that made both of us happy.

I was at the airport to see him off and that’s when reality struck me. We would be separated again. This time not just be distance but also by time.

We said our goodbyes. I was strangely strong on the outside this time.

It has been more than a year since we said goodbyes to each other again.
Honestly, it has been a tough ride. There are times when my emotions clog my brain. But what keeps me going is that I look forward to saying goodbye again. It gives me the hope of meeting love of my life again. And I know we are at a stage when no negative judgement on our relationship affects us anymore.

We are making it work, and soon there will be less goodbyes.

Data . Design . Stories and more at https://www.arushisingh.net/

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